after a yr plus, i m finally back to post at this blog again!!this is really an emo blog!!hide all my darkest secrets..

y is it that i still cant forget u completely??i don ask to forget u entirely but at least don makes me think of u almost every min..is simply too hard for me..i m livin in e past again!!.livin in those memories that i can still remember..all i noe is that, our fate already ended for this lifetime..we can nv be together again as a couple..

y is fate still doin this to me??perhaps all along i had been lyin to myself..thinkin that i had already got over him..time reveals the truth..i have not esp after i met him nn get back in contact with him..

some how, i simply cant jus treat him as a normal frd..he will always have a special place in my heart..

was an emo nitez..haiz..was tryin to tidy out those greeting cards that frds send it to me..then opened up e drawer nn saw e letters that he wrote to mii..gosh..memories juz flashed back..every1 was aslp by then..juz left me alone..i read e letters..sadness juz filled up my heart..it really hurts me lots 2 think of him again..it almost left me cryin but i didn't..so i decided to bury e letters deep in e drawer..will nv take it out 2 read again unless i accidentally saw it..

but i did saw some stuffs that left me touched..only then it reminds me i got great frds by my side all along..thanks..pardon me if i don noe how 2 treasure u or we haven been getting in touch..

decide 2 go online..indeed it was a wise choice..chatting with jx nn toopid boyy..at least chattin with them cheers me up..i m alright now..no longer feelin blue..~ ^ _ ^ ~ but tiny little stuffs still triggers memories of us..feel like throwing away those but i cant bear to..actually it's e heart that matters..if i have completely get over him,seeing it will only bring back sweet memories nn not melchanholy nn bitter feeling..i wanna to remember only sweet memories of us..

31 dec

2dae is e 1st day working at jennifer’s place..in case u guys had no idea who is she..she’s aunt mary’s niece..start work at 11am..it was kinda of near as compared 2 CQ cuz e shop is located at Holland..yest went with family to holland there eat e XO fish head bee hoon so drop by 2 visit aunt mary..then Jennifer who is e boss,ask me when can I start work nn gave me e uni too..i started work 2dae cuz she is short of manpower..the shop name is La Pizzalio..sth like that..haha..= x

it was a small but cosy shop..a homely place I wld describe..i don expect it 2 be very busy or as crowded as amalfi..but down here there’s nv ending work..like washin dishes,toppin out cheese,cutting of onion etc etc..1st time cutting onion..almost cried..my eyes were brinked with tears..haha..e uni is jz plain white polo tee that has e shop name..due to e fact that my fringe is not long enough nn I didn’t bring a clip either,so I got 2 use sth like e padana to prevent my fringe getting in my way..haha..that’s wat Jennifer requested..

everything was quite familiar cuz it’s still pizza..haha..Jennifer is pretty nice lady..but she’s damn particular abt cleaniless!!!!!very very..haha..which is good..had beef lasagna 4 lunch..e moment I wanna eat mu luch then a bunch of ppl came in..though aunt mary nn Jennifer asked ne 2 have mu lunch 1st but I didn’t..helped them out till there’s no ppl..inly then I can enjoy my lasagna..though it’s juz warm,but it’s still really damn super yummy!!!!!!is really different fr amalfi..though I noe is bad 2 make comparison but cant help it but 2 compare..haha..e layer pasta that used 2 make e lasagna is very soft nn it has lots of filing!!!!!!!!whereas amalfi beef lasagna has very little filling nn u will get sick after eatin more..

worked fr 11am to 7pm..somewhere in e noon time,I was left alone to tend e shop cuz Jennifer is out 2 deliver pizza..gosh..juz me alone..but lucky e sis came over 2 help..i didn’t noe Jennifer actually ride a bike 2 do delivery..i thought she drove..haha..dotz..

it was very very sweet of sweetie 2 come support me on my 1st day of work..really touched..thanks!!!!!!!she came down after her church service..as usual,she does lives up to her name..don noe how 2 make her way here..haha…think she gonna kill me if she c this!!!!!haha..but she admits it too..oops..= x she had tiramisu nn green tea cuz she juz had lunch with her frds..i was damn ps 2 let her c me wearin e pandana..damn embarrassin..but she finds it so cute nn kept wanna pinch my cheek..i got 2 seek help from aunt mary 2 escape from her clutch..haha!!!!!

though I got to do much more work here nn e pay is lower but I don mind..instead,it makes me come to one realization..i finally noe wat I wanna be if I cant make it 2 be a teacher..all this 18 yrs,I only had 1 dream that is 2 become a teacher..but after a day of work there,I discovered that..i finally got another dream!!!!!!!!!really damn damn excited..sweetie,u r e 1st 1 that I shared my this dream with..haha..

perhaps this dream might sound silly,but I will still try my best 2 make it happen..i wanna open a eatery!!!!!!!be it a Italian restaurant or café..juz wanna open a shop of my own..this shop I got 2 do more work or every1 is doin more work cuz we do e pizza ourself..aunt mary nn Jennifer r e 1 doin pizza..no chef..they said will teach me how 2 open a pizza dough 1 dae..that is was inspired me I suppose..like havin ur own shop..doin everything by urself..though it’s hard or difficult,but u will feel a sense of satisfaction if ur customers said”e food is really yummy!!!!!!” doin all by urself..small nn cosy shop..i wanna own u 1dae..so I shall work 2wards my dream!!!!!!!it feels really great 2 have a dream once again..my dream wof being a teacher was shattered on e day that I noe I cant make it 2 jc..though still sad that I cant make it to jc but I nv regret getting into poly too..noe this bunch of kids..haha..i m totally revitalized now..wee we wee..

told daddy nn mummy abt this new dream of mine..haha..they seem 2 support me too..cuz they had been hearin me sayin e same line that I wanna be a teacher 4 don noe how many yrs…sorry daddy nn mummy..pited ur ears..haha..i wanna ask kor kor,Andrew or shang jing 2 teach me Italian food le..at e same time,I can learn from aunt mary nn Jennifer too..haha..

take away 1 pizza home..half Hawaii nn half tuna..sweetie took away 1 pizza home tooo..while waitin 4 me,she cant resist e temptation so she ate a bite of it..her comments was very delicious!!!!haha..so I took a piece of it after aunt mary brought it out fr e oven..it’s totally heavenly..thin crust..crispy too..haha..1 word..NICE!!!!!haha

had been watchin fruit basket..really a damn nice anime..so damn funny..but often I always fell aslp while watchin it then woke up again 2 cont..my bed is simply too cosy..haha..

I hurt my toe nail!!!!!!!gish..is hurtin me lots..e whole toe nail is fallin out..sob sob..plssssss join back soon..it hurts..poor little toe nail..

sorry kor..but thanks 4 ur understanding..really appreciate it..

u take e smilez from all that I give,I take e tears…

in a dilemann now..think this is e only place where i can really blog all my thoughts as no1 noe e link to this..sweetie were sayin..if i really got 2gether with him,all she can say is don put my heart in it..i was like..shocked..such a reply fr her..as 4 another 1,she totally seem 2 agree 2 it..don care now..juz be single ba..it's a better choice..

didn't noe he went ns le..haiz..wat if i noe also??haiz..

18 Dec

off 2 a 2 dyas 1 nitez mentoring camp..woke up at 6 plus..so reluctant 2 wake up..walked 2 FC 5 2 meet e rest of e mc..carried so stuff 2 e bulk which is a e child care centre there..then some of e freshies came early..so we sat down in their own tribe 2 teach them e bong slop clap..after that they had some games whereas i was at e bulk there..he lang nn i was i/c of logistic..very busy too..cuz muz get ready e equipment 4 every game etc..that time i was secretary i/c of bulk..muz walk lots too..e same 4 logistic..i thought i cld slack more this time..haha.. i was wronged..had lots of games..was practically rainin e whole day..rained nn stop..rained nn stop..how i wished i cld be at hm..

had balloon fight durin evenin..didn't wan 2 join in e game cuz i m really scared of balloon burstin in front of me..but still played in e game..partner with qian..nn i fell cuz those guys r really violence..but can tell they really put in e effort 2 play e game..it was kinda of painful..then mummy called at that pt of time..dare not tell her that i fell down..if not she will ask me 2 go home immediately..so i kept mum abt it..thanks qian 4 helpin me 2 clean my wound..one of e sweetest thing durin e balloon fight was i don noe whether is it li qi fallin down or jason fallin down.then jason quickly grab hold of her or carry her to make sure that she doesn't get hurt..it was sweet..

i was sittin down there 2 watch e other cont playin e game..naing was sitting beside me..surprisingly,he came 4 e camp too..he was talkin 2 me..seriosuly,had been a long long time since we last chatted.. e 3 of us cont chattiin..me,jason nn naing..qian was busy helpin others cuz quite a few ppl got injured..heard fr qian that there's a curse..if there's only 1 1st aid box,ppl will get injured or sth..

had dinner then nyaa talk..next is e preparation 4 e nitez game..went with he lang 2 sb nn FC 5 2 hide e light sticks..this camp most of time was pair up with him..he was a very efficient guy..both of us went to sb..it was rainin cats nn dogs then..kinda of scary though e lights r still on..but sb always gives me a eerie feelin during nitez time..then we still c 2 ppl usin their lappy there though is like 9 plus..we hid those light sticks in a super obv places so to make it easier 4 them..some more is rainin..walked all e way 2 FC 5 2 hide e light sticks..met up with qian nn jx at FC 5..

b4 e night game starts,we went slack in e club house..then cant remembered who msg said e game start le so we went down 2 FC 5..saw 2 grps there..it was damn funny..we hid in e toliet cuz we r e angels nn we r suppose 2 give them light sticks..so in order not to give them e light sticks,we got 2 hide..then e 2nd time was e 6 of us includin he lang nn adrian hidin in e toliet..it was damn funny..when we r abt 2 leave e toliet,there is this kfc stuff who came in e toliet,she was shocked 2 c 2 guys comin fr e gal's toliet..haha..

1st we went off 2 eee nn mm to patrol nn at e same time qian nn jx was lookin whether had their light sticks been found..saw andrew's team..so we hide nn walked 2 cls block..while we were walkin half way to library,lights went off..wow..make e game even more exciting nn challengin..some more it was still rainin..add even more tension 2 e game..it was a pretty nice game..i find it more exciting than nitez walk..but don noe we walked 2 whole sch how many times..fr sb to Fc5 then to eee nn mm then to FC 3 etc etc..

played with nas,marzuk nn andrew dai dee..qian nn jx were aslp by then..later had a chat with buddy,yun lin nn jada..ervin nn jun da was funny..slept at abt 4 plus then woke up ay abt 7 plus..went to bathe..it was long queue..so i bathe in e guy's toliet..was feelin kinda of uncomfortable nn insecure but adrian was guardin outside e toliet..at least i feel more at ease..then gao ming was shouting to me don come out 1st cuz he's peein outside..dotz..

proceed 2 have their game..went over 2 qian's station.helped out in JR's grp cuz they not enough ppl.played e blindfold game..pretty fun..then went back 2 my own station at FC 5 cuz not enough man power..then saw naing there..he came over 2 put his jacket on my shlder..askin me 2 wear it..dotz..i didn't wan to so i returned it to him..but he took my jacket nn wore it instead..dotz..so i hold on to his jacket..was doin errands etc..

later they havin lunch, i walked over 2 return his jacket back..he didn't wan 2 return my jacket nn his jacket back cuz he said i nv wear it..haha.. so i juz get on with my stuff..e lunch wasn't really that nice..i ate only ate a bit of e rice only..last nitez didn't had dinner cuz it wasn't enough..lucky my gastric pain didn't acts up..mummy had been urgin me to eat nn not to be so fussy abt food when in camp..but cant helped it..= x it was pretty cold so i juz don care nn wore his jacket.. very comfortable..thank u so much 4 ur jacket..= )

was sitting down there with jx when mr xxx came over 2 pull my sleeve..this time round,i was really insensitive..i didn't noe he got sth 2 say..i thought he was juz fooling ard..so i said don play le..later my sleeve becomes longer..he still smilez so i thought shld be nth wrong de..but i still went..then he break down nn cried in front of me..wow..i was shocked..stunned..give me a fight..had a chat with him..think other campers saw it as well..but no choice..cant leave him alone there..some more we r juz frds..no doubt abt it..then e pro was kinda of solve..i saw e smilez on his face again..haha..i m so power..haha..helpin ppl 2 regain their smilez..haha..but mext time try not 2 ask me 4 advices when it is abt love..my love life is in a mess nn i m not exp or pro 2 give u advice too..but i m glad i did manage 2 help..haha..don be too touched..haha

did lots of toopid stuffs with adrian when e campers r playin e 101 treasure hunt..very very funny..will show u guys when i got e pics..got prize ceremony then break camp le..went with e rest 2 jp..had mcflurry..then quickly rushed hm le cuz mummy was rushin me to go home..off i go..miss home lots..miss my family too..though is only a 2 days 1 nitez camp,it seems so so so long..perhaps cuz of e long long hrs..was chattin with naing on msn..had a nice chat with him..= ) i will address him by his name now..cant be too used 2 callin him b_f..
blogger doesn't allows me 2 upload any pics..haha..anyway,his zara jacket costs 75 bucks..i feel like gettin 1 too..but it will look fat on me cuz it's strip..haha..

20 Dec

wat a day i had!!!!!!
damn super unlucky..had BTT 2dae..woke up late..dotz..quickly hurry nn got out of e house..saw zq there..he went for his prac whereas i went for my practice..think i really strain my yes too much..my eyes were damn red nn uncomfortable..out of e class 4 15 min then back 2 another practice..ya i admit i m kiasu..is e same teacher again..i had seen him 4 5 times..4 practices nn 1 evaluation..

went 2 toliet b4 reporting 4 BTT..juz when i walked up e stairs,i saw e poster abt e documents that u r supposed 2 bring 4 e BTT..ic or passport..i brought none of them..gosh..thought they will allow me 2 use ez link card cuz got my ic no as well..but they don allow!!!!!so strict..cant blame them too..can only blame my blurness..

i told him i goin back hm 2 take..he said will give me till 2.15pm..i was like..wonder whether got enough time as it was abt 1.45pm then..i met zq..he passed me $$ 2 take cab home..really grateful 2 him..i was really blurr..rush 2 e shuttle bus there..then decide 2 take cab instead..saw jeremy..but got no time 2 talk 2 him..i was in a rush..happened 2 hail a cab outside..save e time of gettin 1..almost reachin hm,i kept seraching 4 e $$ that zq passed 2 me but i cldn't find it..search e entire bag nn all my pocket..cldn't find it at all..only then i realised that i left my pouch in e toliet..gosh..wat a day..i told e uncle i lost my $$ so i left my bag in his cabnn went up 2 take $$.

then quickly rushed down..so might as well take his cab back 2 bbdc..lucky i brought both ic nn passport..i gave him my student pass then he wanna c my passport as well..troublesome..settle down at seat 32 nn begin my test..lefe e room after 10 min with checkin to be done..finally,i PASSED!!!!!!!if i don pass,think i gonna be damn sad..wasted abt 20 bucks cuz of this BTT nn also e resulf of my blurness..

was feelin very unwell while on my way 2 bbdc..havin a terrible headache while i was in e cab..so tryin 2 finish up e test faster so can go back home 2 rest..then went 2 e shutlle bus there..suppose it juz left as no1 at e bus stop..so decide 2 walk 2 e mrt instead..it was very hot..makes my headache worse..was hopin 2 make it hm soonz cuz feelin damn terrible..like i gonna faint any point of e time..cant take cab anymore cuz i wasted 210 bucks 2dae..so was tellin myself ya sure can make it de..

phew..finally make it 2 west mall..then went 2 break talk 2 help mummy buy e break but think is out of stock..hurried all e way home..get changed nn slp..feelin so much better right now.. tml goin sch 2 do BMR proj as well as play badminton with e rest..




his zara jacket..




look at andrew's exp..haha..oops..i shall be kind..= x

17 Dec

a day out with kiddie..planned 2 go east coast 2 cycle nn fly kite but it rained!!!!!!sob sob..*sadden*so got 2 change plan le..he suggests goin ps instead..ya met him 2.30 at je platform..he made me wait!!!!but lucky i got bring my theory book 2 read nn my mp3..so not that bad..haha..don feel like goin out at 1st..havin damn serious cramp..but don wish 2 ps him last min again..i always do that to him..i also don like ppl 2 ps me last min de..

think he was really tired..fallen aslp on e train..both of us damn dumb..we got out of e mrt then realised that we were on e opp side of ps nn it was rainin heavily..then he suggested tap card nn go into mrt station again..dumb lo..then juz walked ard..did lots of lame stuffs in diff shops..haha..lucky no1 saw it..= x he wanted 2 watch movie so we went up 2 cinema..both of us have no idea wat 2 watch too..i wanna watch a night in museum but in only shows on e 21th..so cant watch..so we walked down again..then watched e performance of e 2 characters of precious moment..very funny..those kids r cute too..both of us enjoyed watching it..

went 2 carl jr cuz he wanted 2 eat..i didn't eat cuz don feel like eating anymore though was hungry juz now..fortunately,my gastric didn't give me a hard time again..phew..haha..he damn super childish..playin with his drink..i was indirectly playin along too..haha..

went home at abt 6 plus cuz mummy wants me 2 go hm early..b4 that he were asking me whether is there any other places that i wanna go..is ecp..then he said let's go now..it was like 6pm..too late to go..so we took train back..sat on e floor nn start doin toopid stuffs again..he asked me to take apic of myself..i don wan..lucky i didn't..if not i gonna be tricked by him..his bro's hp gpt e func like bobby's hp..so i took lots of pics of him nn play with it..so damn funny..took lots of pics of him..then after that,took pics of his wallet etc etc..till 2dae then i noe that his chinese name is called zhi wen..sounds so si wen..haha..i only noe is chee woon but didn't noe in chinese is zhi wen..so i told him..wow..how come u got such a si wen name when he's not..haha..

suppose 2 go down with kiddie 2 CQ 2 pass jx e cake..then in e end didn't go down cuz i need 2 go hm early..sorry jx..didn't manage 2 fulfilled wat i promise u..sorry sorry..in e end,heard fr jx that she didn't went down too..lucky nv go down with him..if not c e rest then they gonna start sayin le..

met up with daddy,mummy nn alan at west mall 2 had dinner 2gether..alan wanna get a guess watch..wow..this boyy..really goin 4 branded stuff man..that watch costs 190 bucks..haha..then i saw e adidas watch again..like it but always didn't get it cuz had been strugglin whetehr 2 get e watch or jacket..then mummy got it 4 mi!!!!!!!!so so damn happy..i love ya mummy!!muackz..though don have e colour that i wan..i wld love 2 have e white nn blue 1 or even green..but all sold out le..so got e yellow 1 instead..is better than nth..mummy feels e yellow 1 is nicer than e orange 1..daddy thinks otherwise..don wan get orange too..later same as andrew..haha..

i m so so so so happy 2dae..happy little gal..feelin so blessed..a day out with him wasn't that super bored..it wasn't that super fun too..juz normal goin out..mummy thought i will be super happy cuz she said i m on date with kiddie..dotz..daddy thought i m with him then mummy thought i m with kiddie..wow..ur daughter not with any1..don make it sound like i so flirt..haha..i m not..= x

wait till he sends me e pics then i shall upload wat toopid pics i took.haa..goin 4 camp later..haven finish packin bag yet..guess u gonna have fun..so shall be back with tons of photos nn lots of granny's stories to blog..

adidas watch...thanks mummy

16 Decoverslept again..was too lazy 2 wake up on a nice sat mornin 2 go sch 4 trial camp...but in e end,i still did..lucky i went..it was damn fun..if not i gonna miss out all e laughter..haha..1st time..didn't feel like leavin early at all but i still did..had pizza 4 lunch..finally had e pizza..haha..e games were simply too fun..shan't not elaborate more on it..went hm early..then went with with family 4 dinner..went 2 boon lay there..had dim sum 4 dinner..was damn packed with ppl..was unt 4 table..i m so so clever..found a table that fits 4 of us..haha..= x order lots..eat till my stomach damn bloated..i need some1 2 help me up fe e chair..really damn full..feelin so uncomfortable..e dim sum there was at reasonable price nn e ingredient is damn fresh..eg e ha gao,e prawn damn fresh nn tender..hmm..yummy delicious..haha..next time shall ask e rest 2 go eat as well..but this mouth of mine had done me great sin..keep eatin on stop..u can c me growin horizontally..sob sob..don tempt myself with food anymore..tml goin ecp 2 cycle ba..then gonna do my lulu a favour..haha..hope she enjoy herself with tu di tml..jia you jia you wor jx..i noe it's not easy..but juz try..that's all folks..

goin 2 sch later as well..next wk gonna be damn damn busy..hope it wont rain on sun..i wanna go cycling..haha..= x night guys..time 2 enter my world of lollipops!!!!!!!

14 Decthat toopid boyy said i was very diff fr wed..cant compared cuz i wasn't feelin well on wed..haha..i was kinda of siao 2dae..keep on laughin nn laughin..cuz i m happy..in a good mood..haha..had lunch at FC 4..then we ballot 2 c who u gonna exchange ur xmas present with..haha..so so so funny..don noe y i so high too..really laughed out loud upon seeing e name..haha..very very qiao..haha..but i cant say who is it..will be disclosed next fri..haha..= xafter mct lesson,took mrt with,zai qian,clair,shezhiyan nn toopid will as i goin down 2 amalfi 2 take pay..was sianz cuz still muz travel down..but 4 e sake of $$4,i will go..haha..saw shang jing nn tricia outside..so was chatting with shang jing..he having break..spilt shift..then after that he accompanined me go up 2 e office 2 take my pay..then maggie was saying still got bodyguard..dotz..he was nice enough 2 get me rum nn rasin ice cream..it does tastes different as it uses different kind of milk 4 it..uncle dan came 2 talk 2 me..he said he heard that i m quitting..muz be u!!!!!!!shang jing..haha..he asked me not to go etc..he does dotes on dar nn i..goin attachment soonz..so wont be stayin long too..he said he wanna c me work again..not bad..didn't noe uncle dan wld cares so much abt service staffs too..snow leavin soonz..on e 29th..so fast..half a yr had passed..soon another trainee with be here after she's gone..it was still drizzling when i left amalfi..then e mr nice guy shang jing said lots..he said " got bring umbrella??be careful,don fall sic etc etc"he's really a nice frd..a trustworthy guy frd too..wow..i praise him so much..later he gonna get sore head le..don betray my trust in u..haahooray!!!finally got my pay..then called mummy 2 ask her out so that i can bring her out 4 dinner..we went 2 eat xiao long bao..as usual,damn long queue..but it does paid off cuz it was yummy yummy..bought earrings etc etc...anyway,2dae was a happy dae...= )15 decwow..finally,1st in history that i actually understand BMR!!!!!wee wee..was damn happy of cuz..muz thanks 2 will..cuz he asked me go ask her abt a part..then she damn super nice..kept comin 2 check on me nn asked me whether do i noe how 2 do or do i understand..at least i understand now so it wont makes me detest BMR that mcuh anymore..had kuay teow goreng at FC 3..didn't finished cuz no appetite nn was damn full..but still,i forced myself to eat more..meeting buddy later 2 look at toy house..b4 having lunch,went 2 meet andrew to take from him 2 container 4 e game..then he kept asking me 2 join them 4 lunch cuz got him..haha..dotz..after lunch,went library 2 do oop..everything seems to go smoothly 2dae..oop seems more fun nn attractive than any other days..haha..i will love programmin more from now on..haha..kept buddy waited 4 pretty long..he dismissed at 11 nn yet i met him at abt 2.30pm..sorry..we went vivo instead of town cuz got no time then i really get so sianz of town..really..saw lots of toy house 2dae..dofferent types..but was damn damn tired..got e present 4 exchange..hope she gonna likes it..haha..was playing with e remainin wrapper..use it 2 talk to buddy..he got a shocked twice..haha..had a good laugh..like that also scared..haha..lousy buddy.. = xdidn't noe took e same train as jx nn qian..they went cine 4 watch the holidays..didn't join them cuz doin oop nn muz save $$ too..anyway.happy 3 frds reunite..haha..went 2 trial camp 2gether..had lots of fun nn laughing..anna was in super good mood yest when i went down 2 amalfi..surprisingly!!!!!!!perhaps juz got pay then in good mood ba..haha